Piss, Vinegar, All Payments Under the Table: the Story of How SWS Fell in Love with KOFK

Hello. Knights of the Fire Kingdom are we. Please be forewarned that pretty much every entry credited to us here (whether actually written by us or merely ghostwritten by some starving Houston Press freelancer that we tossed a couple of snacky cakes to) will be bathed and reeking in the aforementioned piss and vinegar. It’s what the plants crave.

Once upon a time, back in the good ole days, our esteemed Big Cheese, Mr. TS Denizen hosted an internationally lauded radio programme that appeared on the airwaves and launched into the stratosphere from the tiny media-relations offices of the University of Houston. Go Coogs. My hazy, fazed memory can’t recall how exactly we found one another — maybe it was via Twitter, maybe it was true love, or maybe someone just dialed a wrong number — but we finally came face to face with Mr. Denizen to appear on his show one night in order to promote the impending release of our first record on Little T&A (Editor’s Note: currently available on vinyl via mail-order. Please, help us feed the children.) As the story goes, we couldn’t find the studio and had to be retrieved by Mr. Denizen while on-air. Luckily, he was able to cue up a blistering mp3 of “Inna Godda da Vida” from Spotify and let that fucker roll to buy some time and track us down. Leading us by our collars like shamed children, we found our seats in the studio with mere seconds to spare, transitioning masterfully out of the lead-out drones of Iron Butterfly and into some snide remark about how we had “finally made it.” The following interview saw us telling stories of ill-fated visits to, erm, “gentlemen’s clubs” and offering up a few playlists that we had curated for public judgment. The episode ended with Mr. Denizen playing the audio of a spot-on impression of Jon Bon Jovi (by your’s truly) under horrible duress. With that, our unbreakable bond was formed and multiple subsequent visits would go down. There were others at UH who courted us, as well — songs were recorded, videos were shot — but none of those will ever see the light of day (our lawyers have seen to that). Only things with the TS Denizen stamp of approval will ever pass through the filter into the waiting arms of the world. Once Mr. Denizen decided to hang up his spurs at the ole radio station, he invited us to come back for one final, farewell episode of the Some Weird Sin Happy-Go-Lucky Radio Hour, in which he told us that he’d be quitting on-air at the end of the time that night and invited us to use as many fuck words as possible. We obliged.

With the radio programing out of the way, Mr. Denizen announced his plans to start up a label and offered to put out a live tape for us. Not being ones to shy away from releasing something — ANYTHING — we agreed and the tapes documenting our record-release show sold out in minutes (Editor’s Note: still currently very available via mailorder. Please, the children…). Upon hearing that we had another full-length LP in the chamber and ready to go, Mr. Denizen begged and pleaded to be allowed to release it on vinyl. We obliged. Some months went by, Mr. Denizen had his work cut out for him with the label, as did we with the recording, and before too long, an email found its way to our inbox. I hope he won’t take issue with us talking about it, for he is a very private, yet very fair man, but the email spoke of the aforementioned frustrations, laid out his hopes and dreams for the label re-boot and essentially invited everyone involved to get the fuck out if they weren’t down to get the fuck into it. We had a band meeting, prayed to our lord and savior for guidance and, upon receiving none, looked both inward and at the roster of bands Mr. Denizen had accumulated for this new venture. “For fuck’s sake,” thought we, “We’d be real ninnies to not want to jump in the sack with bands like this and a guy like that. Let’s sign. We have to!” And so we did. In BLOOD (Editor’s Note: no documents were signed, in bodily fluids or otherwise). So with label backing and in the company of some truly amazing bands (seriously, check them all out. I have favorites), we now go forth into the night, hand in hand and swapping spit until we all get sidelined with Mano. The new record is almost done, the track listing and artwork is a-brewing, so get on the groove train and ready yourself for some partying’ times ahead. See you soon…

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